Answer: The Franklin Mint

Question: what the hell is your problem?
-therestlessape, via email.

Answer: Where should I start? Most recently my problem is trying to sell a lifetime collection of Franklin Mint objects on ebay. You remember when we emptied out my mother-in-law’s storage? Well turns out there’s almost a whole collection of 13 colony dolls in those boxes that were covered with dust, leaves, and dried rat semen.

Also there is a Cinderella doll and a Scarlet O’Hara Doll. These things are creepy. They are boxed up in their original packaging with bubble wrap around their heads and foam wrapped around their hands and feet. My Smugmug looks like some kind of porcelain doll bondage website. My highest rated photos! Those gimps have been holed up at AAAmerican Storage for 14 years. That’s a lot of rat semen! Bitches got mad stamina; more like SKANKlin Mint!

Also for sale I have this crappy Franklin Mint Porcelain Figurine of a mare and her colt seated and smiling very anthropomorphicly at each other. Bidding was up to a buck eighty last time I checked. So that’s money towards your night at the Wild Orchid I promised. Maybe we can get one of the strippers to dress up like Dolly from Delaware and unwrap herself from foam and bubblewrap… Maybe she won't have nipples either.

-M

ps all bids are binding